at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
