hotel room ftw
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
