just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When are your genitals available?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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