I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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