my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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