i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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