Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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