it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
