everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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