So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
