did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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