dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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