Four minutes until I can fart!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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