found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
