Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
