Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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