I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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