You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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