you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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