Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
