There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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