he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
