i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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