Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize