Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
