I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
