Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I could fuck to npr.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
