apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Actions speak louder than pants.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
