He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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