Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize