I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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