i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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