there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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