Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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