What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
