oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
