I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
