Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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