After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize