69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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