Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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