you guys were way drunker than both of me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
God I need to hump something, right now.
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