my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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