All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
