M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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