I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
