For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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