Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
