member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
