Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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