so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
