Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
