Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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