i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
