it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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