He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
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There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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